I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Randomize
