Who wears a wallet chain?!
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
