what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
