brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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