Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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