If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
