Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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