I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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