in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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