love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize