I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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