i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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