shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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