just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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