Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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