we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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