Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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