it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
