as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
