are you still at the devil's house?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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