Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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