Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
