don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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