oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
