I'm going to jail i love you
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
