this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Is it penis luge time yet?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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