ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
