She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
