So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
