Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
