U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
