CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Randomize
