My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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