I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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