she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
