if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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