i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
