Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
