I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
