Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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