I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
