ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
