Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
