i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
