I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
