I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
