White coat. Heels.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
