Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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