Im at strip club and am horny
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
