Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
