That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
