i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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