By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
