Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
