New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
nutella sex= disaster
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize