You were right. It hurts to walk today.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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