i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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