Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
