I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
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