My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
