you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
