I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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