i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
