OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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