so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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