the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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