That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
