If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize