we made out on top of his cat.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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