Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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